Comments on: Why do good guys finish last…?? http://blog.sabasearch.com/why-do-good-guys-finish-last/ Houston's South Asian Community Blog Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:11:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: SABAsearch http://blog.sabasearch.com/why-do-good-guys-finish-last/comment-page-1/#comment-1633 SABAsearch Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:09:29 +0000 http://blog.sabasearch.com/?p=228#comment-1633 Keep your head up. This is a very common problem for first generation South Asians in America. We all know that parents are extremely important in our culture and I commend you for trying to please them. The parents of first generation South Asians came to this country to give their family a better life...and even though you may not agree with everything they say, you should not disregard all their opinions. The key is to find that perfect balance (easier said than done of course). First and foremost, you need to find someone that will make you happy. You are the one that is going to live with that person for the rest of your life. If you are truly close to your parents and you want to make them happy, the person you find probably already has the characteristics your parents desire. I know that they have a 'checklist' of a million things, but it is unreasonable that you will meet every single one of them. For sure there are some that are of much higher priority than others. These are the ones you should consider most. You may be able to meet them and you may not. These type of situations require that the parents, as well as the children, sacrifice some of their demands. Regarding on-line matrimonial sites - it works for some people, and does not for others. I would say that you should just use it to make connections to people you normally would not be able to meet. Then take it from there however fast/slow you want to. If you want to date for a while, then go for it. You should not feel pressured into marrying some one that you barely know. Matrimonial websites are just a networking tool - allows you to get in touch with people, and where it goes from there is totally up to you. So when will all this happen? No one knows...there is never a way of predicting when life changing events like this happen. You (and your parents) have to be patient and when the time is right, you will know. Best of luck and hope this helps. Keep your head up. This is a very common problem for first generation South Asians in America. We all know that parents are extremely important in our culture and I commend you for trying to please them. The parents of first generation South Asians came to this country to give their family a better life…and even though you may not agree with everything they say, you should not disregard all their opinions. The key is to find that perfect balance (easier said than done of course).

First and foremost, you need to find someone that will make you happy. You are the one that is going to live with that person for the rest of your life. If you are truly close to your parents and you want to make them happy, the person you find probably already has the characteristics your parents desire. I know that they have a ‘checklist’ of a million things, but it is unreasonable that you will meet every single one of them. For sure there are some that are of much higher priority than others. These are the ones you should consider most. You may be able to meet them and you may not. These type of situations require that the parents, as well as the children, sacrifice some of their demands.

Regarding on-line matrimonial sites - it works for some people, and does not for others. I would say that you should just use it to make connections to people you normally would not be able to meet. Then take it from there however fast/slow you want to. If you want to date for a while, then go for it. You should not feel pressured into marrying some one that you barely know. Matrimonial websites are just a networking tool - allows you to get in touch with people, and where it goes from there is totally up to you.

So when will all this happen? No one knows…there is never a way of predicting when life changing events like this happen. You (and your parents) have to be patient and when the time is right, you will know. Best of luck and hope this helps.

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