Feb 06 2008
Engaged and Confused
Below is a note we received from one of our readers.
So I’m getting married very soon and I did not realize how much goes into a South Asian wedding. There is so much to cover. I’m not too much of a procrastinator, but I’m finding myself with more to do with less time! Everything is manageable, but to me (26 year old male), a lot of these things that need to be done are very much overkill… I understand that it’s important to my fiancé and our parents, but is it worth breaking the bank over?
Outside of everything else, why do we (our community) feel the need to invite the entire world to our weddings? My parents and my fiancés parents both want to invite old friends that we probably haven’t seen in ages! I understand the idea that our parents came here with nothing and they relied on each other to survive in America, but after their children get married, it looks like they’ll be back to nothing again! I hope they can rally together and start from scratch again!
For the people that recently got married or soon to be married or even if you’ve been married for years, any comments or advice that you’d like to share?Sincerely,
Engaged and Confused
Dear Engaged and Confused,
Let me assure you that you are not the only one to have had this problem. In fact, I don’t know of anyone that has not had this problem. Wedding planning is always a stressful experience, but remember the greater picture at hand. The wedding will come and go, but the marriage will last forever. You should be spending more time planning your marriage than your actual wedding. With that in mind, try not to forget where your parents are coming from. In the South Asian culture, weddings are the highlight of many parents’ lives. They want everyone to take part in their happiness. But, there needs to be a balance. You and your fiancé need to make a compromise with the parents and come to an agreement that will make both of you happy. Both sides will probably not be 100% happy, but that is better than one party being more than the other. We wish your families the best of luck and hopefully any insights provided here will be helpful.
